I really need some straight-up serious honesty here. I am seeing this 45 year-old widower who lost his wife a few months ago. I met him an on-line on dating sight. We hit it off and after we had sexual relations (it was wonderful for both of us) he told me that he wanted me to be his lover. I'm from a background that you date one person exclusively and so I thought that he was trying to say he wanted me to be his girlfriend and that we would see where it leads. Time has gone by and we both tell each other "I love you" and the passion is awesome between us, but I notice that on nights I dont see him, I get no calls but he says he isnt a phone person much so I understand that. It seems that we only talk when we are together. He does IM each day however, and tells me he loves me on this too. He makes me feel so special. Here is the deal though...he has and still does admit that he is not ready to commit to just dating one lady and is looking for that one he wants to pursue a relationship with. He says that I am the only one that shows long-term potential and the only one he has feelings for but he does still have a couple of other women friends that he dates and sleeps with "sometimes". he says he cant help it if it hurts and he wishes he didnt have to be like this but he cant help it. I said to him that I didnt care about a ring on my finger, but I felt he should at least see 1 lady at a time-especially if there is this one lady he says he loves and has feelings for. he tells me he has no feelings for the other two ladies. He says that he dont want to lose me but doesnt want to hurt me and if I cant be patient for him to get to the place where he only wants to date me then maybe its best I go on, but he says he sure doesnt want me to go and loves me very much. I dont understand what is going on with him. Another thing is that he knows I have small children. When we are together he will ask when can he meet them and ask about them. I've told him that I'm not ready for them to meet because my children would love him-I know. I would be afraid they would get attached and if I find that he decides that I'm not the one he wants to date exclusivley, then I dont want my children to be hurt over the loss of a special guy in thier lives. They deserve someone to be there and not leave them. It is like when we are intimate the words are so beautiful and before and afterwards even, but other than that its loving IM's, no calls (but I don understand he isnt a phone talker much) and every now and then these "reminder" words from him that he still isnt ready to just date one lady. please explain.
TheSage Forums » TheSage's Advice Forums » Dating Questions for Men
I need a man to help me explain this man that I date
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Posted 3 years ago #
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