How to Approach Girls
How to approach girls is a question we commonly receive. Most guys are terrified at the thought of approaching a hot girl. Why is that? Don’t you want a beautiful girlfriend? What is the worst thing that could come out this social interaction?
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Logic tells us that nothing life-threatening can occur while approaching a girl. So why does your brain shut down and you basically loose all verbal skills when dealing with a sexy girl?
Anthropologist to Zoologist tell us that meeting an unknown member of the same species is an anxiety-induced experience. Is this a friend or a foe? Will this person club me to death? That is an ancient mindset that continues to stay in our psyche.
In the early days, we lived in small tribes of 60 people or so. Out of those 60 people there were probably around 30 girls. Of those girls, many of them probably belonged to the chief and alpha-man of the tribe. So the bottom-line is, that there were not many girls to go around to the John Smith’s of the world.
I would have to guess that your life depended on staying in good standings with the tribe. So you would not want to approach a girl and possibly be ostracized from the tribe. I think for the most part we still have this small tribe mentality.
Whether you want to approach a girl for sex or you are looking for a hot girlfriend, everything starts with the approach. It is the first step in the process. You must approach to meet, attract and date. This is rocket science, huh?
Advice on how to approach girls:
Approach girls with confidence but also be totally unattached from the outcome. If you project a needy, insecure vibe you will not get anywhere. You are just a cool guy being social. You are not trying to pick up this hot girl. By being relaxing and getting to know this hottie you can start to show interest once she has revealed a bit of her character.
Don’t worry about memorizing pick-up lines. Say anything that comes to your mind. If you get nervous, just introduce yourself and get her name. If you are at a venue you can come back to her and use her name.
Ignore those little self-sabotaging voices, in your head that make excuses for you to not approach this hot girl. Even if you screw up, you are ahead of 95% of the men of the world. Most men never master this part of their life. Hence they are never satisfied with the quality of girl in there life.
You only have about three seconds to make your move before you lose your nerve. If you think about the approach for more than three seconds you will always talk yourself out the approach. Just go for it!
Make a habit to always look for hot girls every where you go. Never let your guard down. Be ready to approach at all times. Follow your masculine impulses.
Approaching girls will never be easy, but with practice you can feel the fear and do it anyway!
April 29th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
Great site and great info! keep up the good work!
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:17 am
its all good and acceptable
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:49 am
the part that said “ignore the self-sabototing voices in your head,” is so true! I was once at a chris brown concert and so a hot girl, I really wanted to go out with her so, I got nervous, and I was trying to think of what to say. So, I ran out of time. Think of it this way, if u ask out a girl u have a 50% chance you will succeed and if u don’t ask her out you have a 0% chance of picking her up. And if u ask her out and u get rejected, so what? You’ll never see her again!
October 1st, 2008 at 7:42 pm
i agree with the three second thing. if i feel to intimidated i always talk myself out of it. I’ve decided not to be scared its just puss…..
October 10th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Thanks very much on your wnderful piece on talking to a girl. Just dis evening i did something stupid, i saw a girl i really like in a religious service, but b/cos i listened to d odd part of my mind, i allowed so much time to pass. Never the less i lost her and it really hurt me so much. Ill learn to make the move even before i thought of it. Thanks alot
October 13th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Yeah i was at a dance and there was this girl i liked. Normally i would freeze up,and not talk to her. But i just decided to screw it and went up to her, and we danced. Its not hard. Just do it, and dont think about it.
October 15th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
The 3 second rule is critical, it can literally make or break an interaction. By following it you train your mind not to think about what you’re doing and just act, than everything flows so smoothly.
January 16th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
This info is very informative, but I dont have any of these problems. The problem is girls stare, smile, eye wink, nudge me ,etc and expect me to give them the time of day while I am working out! So I cold shoulder them and what do they do? Follow me around the gym! I notice that the beautiful women are doing exactly as stated above. They freeze up, dont know what to say, stare at my biceps rather than look into my eyes. wtf?!
January 25th, 2009 at 9:11 am
yes, im trying to start a conversation with a girl i like, and everytime i try and talk to her and think about it too much, my heart races at 200 miles per hour and i never get anything done. my friends encourage me to just go and talk to her, and ill probably listen to both this site’s and my friends’ advice and go for it. But the thing is, im afraid of losing her if i do something weird but i guess i can always recover? lol lets see what happens
February 14th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
this thing actually works, i m saying this by an experience.i tried talking to girls in a foriegn place convincing myself that no one knows me over here and it wouldn’t be embaracing .but lol i see that even though there’s nothing special abt the talk i start i actaully make plenty of friends ,not girl friends.my problem was how to turn even 1 into a serious relationship, but it wasn’t possible that time.
March 6th, 2009 at 6:30 am
I used to be so scared and shy to approach any girls and i have thought myself to just make myself relaxed and do not get nervouse.Also i totaly believe in the
3 second approach and believe me guys it realy and honestly does work.There is no diffrence between the
two genders and we are all looking for that speacial someone so if you like a girl just do it and you have nothing to loose and everything to gain and that is the most bueatiful women next to you.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
£ years back i was in the same trouble. I’d freeze up when talking to a attractive girl or trying to make a conversation with her. It’s really just about the perspectivees that you look at. What would happen if you get rejected? Will it be the end? There’s many fish in the sea so don’t get down if she turns you down, because the most likely fact is that there’s a even better girl out there just waiting for you. Having said that it’s not just about confidence, appearance can count. You don’t have to be the usual high school jock with biceps. Just keeping in shape and looking after your body eg taking a couple of showers a day and putting on aftershave. These small things can really make a difference